So…enough of the whining and fussing. Except in that I plan to do it again.
I really miss blogging. Yet when I sit down to do it I never can find the words to say what is really on my mind. Oh, well, that’s not true. I can. I just can’t find ones that don’t make me want to crawl in a hole the next day and say, “Pfft…I did not type that. Prove it. What is a wayback machine?”
But…that said, so we got a puppy. He’s an adorable dude but is growing so fast that my thinking is we should have named him weed. He’s a golden retriever which is downright weird for me since I have never got a fancy schmancy dog with real life papers and everything. And this time wasn’t really all that different. The breeder is a friend of the friend who tried to kill herself by swallowing too many pills? Remember that post from blogs past? No..well, anyway. That was a high point in my life.
The friend gave him to us when usually she charges for such dogs. But we go way back. She and I. Not the dog. And she reminded me of so many things. So I’m totally going to have to post them on here and be all, “Dude…yeah, that was me. No, I can’t believe it either.”
Others you’re the dog. Or so I’m told. Lately I’ve felt quite a bit like a hydrant. So here I sit in all my angry glory when I see the video of a woman who is the mother of, I think, two children. A wife. And from all appearances an all around “normal” person just like me. And she has a few weeks to live. That’s it. She’s leaving her children against her will. And I know there’s no doubt she’s hurting for this.
She said lately she finds herself saying, “Yes” to things a lot. Like if the children want to jump on the bed she says “yes” or if they want to do a craft together she says “yes”. And it made me think.
If I knew that in a few weeks, barring a miracle, I was going to be dead then what might I do differently? And I’m trying to do them. And I must be on to something because since I started this things have gotten progressively harder. Almost like something telling me, “Nooooo! Remember? You’re mad? And if they do have that friend over you’ll have to put up with the whining from said kid. And you should read that book with them! And that hurt you, silly. Why would you forget it? You CAN’T take the baby out of daycare. You’ll have to work all night to make up for the time she’s in the office with you.” And I find my money battles are all uphill. And my mood is awful. And I’m sick and so are all the children. And many people are treating me…well, let’s just say “spit in your face” is about the size of it.
I once heard my grandfather say that he must be doing something right since the devil was trying his best to make him quit. So..since I’m so very tired of it and I’ll be darned if I am going to sway on any of it! I’m just going to keep on pretending until it’s true.
That said, this is the site of the lady I spoke of.
So, what we have here is two different children. One who is supposedly not capable of making their own choices and when their parents back him up (or choose for him, even, since they are his parents and presumably know him better than you or I do) they are required by law to submit him to the treatment he does not want. And the other is some girl we’ve decided to try as an adult for killing someone even though she is, in fact, a child.
What made “us” feel one was more of a child than the other? I am totally serious. I don’t get it. And I’m trying to.
So they say bad things come in threes. I say three whats? Like, three groups of ten maybe?
So, I ended up with emergency appendectomy. Ended up staying in the hospital an extra few days either because the doctor was a lame slow bastard or his excuse about how he was worried about how quickly my condition came about was true. Whichever it was time off from work that I couldn’t afford. And when I say, “afford” I mean it was time off that was difficult to cope with due to my needing to catch up an already behind situation to normal. I wasn’t thrilled.
Then, while I’m in the hospital someone tried to pass a check off for $10,940 on my checking account. This didn’t help me out at all. Since I had no evidence of anything other than hospital papers to prove there was no chance it was me the bank has decided to shut the account down for “their and my protection”. I’ve been banking with them since I was 18 years old so this annoyed me. So I will not be doing any sort of business with them ever again. This is just too damned far. Now, this is not the first time they gave me hell for reasons that were not my fault. But it certainly annoys the piss out of me when all of my bills try to clear on a close account. WHILE I’M IN A HOSPITAL BED. So now I am running all over town with cash paying bills. It’s super fun.
Except now, T-mobile in all of their awesomeness has decided that despite my warning about what the bank had done, and my upfront well before they ever had any notice warning that there was a chance the bank may send the payment back and that I couldn’t get into the account to find out what cleared before they shut me down, they decided that I have now “bounced” my payment. And despite the fact that the payment isn’t late they’ve shut the phone off until I go pay them with cash. I’ve been with them for YEARS, too. I’m more than a little pissed.
That said, our seeds have all sprouted and now desperately need to be planted. But I’ve been glue in the belly girl so we have not been able to. I think I’ll be working on that very soon, though. Very very soon. I just need to get those raised beds built. That’s, like, easy. Right? I’m sure with my luck this will be happening in no time at all.
